About Me

Here is my full story

For the most part of my life I was a wounded person. My parents got divorced when I was very young, which left me with huge abandonment wounds. As a result I grew up between two parents and two countries, the UK and South Africa. Being mixed race (my mother is Eastern Indian and my father English) I grew up in a mixed race culture and family and for many years I struggled with my identity, despite being raised post apartheid, I still felt embarrassed and ashamed that I was of color. I was unpopular and bullied at school. I never felt beautiful or comfortable in my own skin.
My sisters and I were raised by a single mom and while we were not poor we were not wealthy either. This left me feeling unworthy in a materialistic society and resulted in me having a lack of mindset all my life.
As I grew up I continuously attracted narcissistic, emotionally unavailable men, which continued to paint a picture of being unattractive and unworthy of love. Quite ironic because I grew up with a loving mother who always reminded me “you are beautiful and I love you” but I still never felt it or believed it in my core being. I just didn’t know what self love was.
Because I grew up feeling so wounded, unworthy and rejected by people, the only way I knew how to feel worthy in life was to pursue a hot shot career as a lawyer and become financially well off because that would make me feel seen by those who bullied me and rejected me and fill up my lack of self worth. Society taught us that material success would make you feel more whole but it didn’t, it made me feel more unfulfilled and lonely. 
The more I progressed in my corporate career the more my soul felt so unfulfilled. I had never felt so disconnected to myself.  

The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers & lovers of all kinds.

- Dalai Lama

My story continued

But what I didn’t realize was that the more searching I was doing for material success, I was actually searching for a deep connection with myself, my SOUL SELF not my human self. In order for me to understand this, my soul was calling in all of these uncomfortable experiences to teach me that every person and every experience was merely a reflection back of how I truly felt about myself. Now that was a hard pill to swallow because I was not the victim. In fact I was the creator of my own reality. The day I finally understood this was the day I started to step into a higher level of healing and awareness and therefore shift my reality.
The more I started to heal and help myself, the more I learnt that this was my gift. Being a Projector, this is my Human Design, to help guide others as a coach and healer through their own self-healing journeys.
I took up a coaching course, worked with a Human Design Coach and combined my spiritual tools and practices that I gained over the last 6 years to finally bring to life: Coaching and Healing with Bianca.
Fast forward I am now living and working in Amsterdam as a Lawyer, Coach and Healer while my sister and I set up a community project in Cape Town, South Africa. 
I would like to say a big thank you to both my mother, Vonita Bates and sister Chiara Bates for being my biggest teachers and supporters in this journey called Life.
If you would like to hear more about my story or working with me, I am an open book and just a click of a button away. I look forward to hearing from you.
From one Soul Sister to another.